Adoption jokes
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
Aarif
What's the difference between apples and orphans? The apples get picked, XD!
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Slit your wrists.
Me.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.