One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Why should old womon never eat sea food?
Cuz then she'll start acting crabby.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Once upon a time there was a poor man, a middle class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle class man said "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me." And then the wall fell on them.
Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
at 6 she wanted a happy mama at 8 she hated acting like a mom at 10 she was wanted to see her own smile agian at 11 she wanted to see her mom
me on my way to the prinsiples office after the trans kid told me to act my age so i told him to act his gender
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor board don't worry he was just going through a stage
mom: im going to the shop if somone is on the door dont open me: ok *ring* me: opens oh sh*t mom: gets flip flop
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.
Is your tap water running well you
Beta go catch it
Watching porn Watching porn blow my dick like a bassat horn
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut 🥜
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common? Answer: disappearing acts
I guy entered to a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching crossed the books and the librarian asked him. Librarian..... what are you looking for ? Man ....I am looking for a book!! Librarian... Which book ?? Man ...... FACEBOOK.
S,ss,slalom A
YOMAMA so... Wait... Who's Mother Am I Speaking Of?
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split.
Actor 1: "I'm Micheal with a b and I hate insects" Actor 2: 'Wheres the b?" Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl gos on stage: break a leg!
Rachel: alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
