Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.
