Accused jokes
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
My teacher is a rapist.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
Who deleted my stuff??? Woooow, you racist just because I'm Hispanic?
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
You're an alcoholic!
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.