Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan. 🥱🫤
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary
When a kid says "I'm a pedophile" it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it; he is accused as a rapper.
My wife accused me of being a cross dresser so i packed up her clothes and left
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
my boyfriend accused me of cheating. i told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
I was accused of rape, but a swear she was a whore
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
My last relationship ended because my ex girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset, to be honest I didn't like her anyway, she kept telling me I never listen, or something like that
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator? He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort"...
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Quilty or Not Quilty?
if your parents ever accuse you of lying....... Say "your the one who told me about Santa Claus"
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife
Hey I just wanna be in bed I just wanna stay ahead i just feel like i am dead and i like that color red hey i am not the big fat loser and your just a big accuser you user and excuser
Say this to you sister,toxic BF,Anyone :)
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well I have! I was wrongfully accused of larsiny yesterday, im not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.m
