Accident

Accident Jokes

Kurt Cobain

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

Horse

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Tire

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Gay

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Wheelchair

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Friend

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

Woman

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

Grandpa

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Dad

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

Minefield

The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"

The dad: "Everywhere."

Sticker

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

Mother

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

Brake

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”