Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definately not an accident.

Why can’t antelopes get married?

Because they can’t elope.

While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5min later I found fell it in gutter

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb

You can’t unscrew a pregnant woman

What’s a similarity between a broken lightbulb, and a pregnant woman

They’re both accidents

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

what do you call your kids

Jerry:my dad got into a fight on a plane Jeremy:that’s just plane crazy!

A old lady told me to check her balance so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check so I died to help her

Pooooooooooop

My dad always used to beat me but he never beat cancer

My fish pun aren’t on porpoise.

My son said he burnt food on accident so I told him he was an accident

Johnathon

Ur mom

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, “if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies, “That would be an accident, not a tragedy.” A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, “If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy.” Bill Clinton replies once again with: “That would be a great loss, not a tragedy.” All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says “If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!” “Yes!” Says Bill Clinton “How do you know?” Matthew says happily, “It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!”

Knock knock who dare Boo boo who don’t cry in front of me or else I’ll cry

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