Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Jack and Jill went up a hill his condom ripped and now they are from Alabama
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
