Accident jokes
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...