Absence jokes
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!