Absence jokes
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Memes
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.