Absence jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.