Absence jokes
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Why can’t orphans play catch?
They never had a dad to teach them.
Memes
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.