Absence

Absence jokes

Dad

What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?

The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

Orphan

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

Head

Why don't headless people have a head in class?

Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD

Dad

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!

Dad

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Orphan

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.