Absence jokes
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.
Teacher: What kind of appointment?
Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈
True story.
What did an orphan say to its father?
Nothing.
When I mist, I miss.
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.