Absence

Absence jokes

Milk

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

Orphan

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Orphan

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

Memes

Dad

What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.

Orphan

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Dad

Why can't you eat cereal?

Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!

Orphan

Do you know why you never mess with an orphan?

Because they’ve got guardians!

Orphan

Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite meme?

Homer going into a bush.

Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.

Swing

Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Not Stephanie!

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  • Orphan

    Why could the orphan never be gay?

    Because he had nobody to call "daddy."

    Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    The apple gets picked.