Absence jokes
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.