Absence jokes
Why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
I have no father. Like if you relate.
Pussy, no pussy.
Why do orphans use water for their cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Stop making the jokes!
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
I don't know, I don't have one.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.