Absence jokes
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
What do orphans call a family picture?
A selfy.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
Dad?