I was on a plane and My mom said it just a little turbulence And I said Mom we just got on run way
Mommy why is my name brick??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. mommy why is my name rose??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. Brick walks in "blagudnunag"
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, your to young to smoke..."
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
Went to my local Indian restaurant asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala the waiter said what's that I said it's the same as a tikka just a little otter
A little boy went to church.. the priest said get in the following positions.. stand then kneel then bow.. the little boy replies.. can u hurry up and fuck me already
The teacher said made the kids guess what a random word was and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier. Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, “I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!”
A man walks over to a little boy and asks "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?" the little boy replies with "Yes please i love bunnies" The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said can you see it yet?" The little boy curious says "no where is it?" The man says "dig a little deeper he runs into the whole when he gets scared!"
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
me: says to kid at adoption center you adopted me and kid: hug
thought this sight needed a little bit of nice jokes
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.
why was the sea so friendly because it gave a little wave
A pedophile was holding a bag of chocolates and then approached a little girl at the park. "Hey little girl! If you give me a teeny-tiny kissy-kiss on the tip of my wee-wee, I'll give you a piece of my chocolate! The little girl replies, "If I suck your whole cock, can I have the whole bag?"
a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok,And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell that’s why she calls you a little shat
So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.
