Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
This is how I got [redacted]
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
I just
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
People are pushing for a Black Statue Of Liberty coin.
Can't wait to use Black people as currency again :)
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."