Worst Jokes Ever
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.
Dirty bastards.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Cancer HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
pussi
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."