Worst Jokes Ever
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!