Worst Jokes Ever

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"

Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

Wrapped around that tree.

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."

So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

What's the best part of having sex with a baby?

Deep throat and anal at the same time.

They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

Why do hospitals have fans?

To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.