Worst Jokes Ever
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
I was going to join the debating team.
... but someone talked me out of it.
Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.