Worst Jokes Ever
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
I've done a ton of work today.
A SKELE-ton of work!
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird!
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
She was only a potato chip manufacturer's daughter--but she was Frito-Lay!