Worst Jokes Ever
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
How do you confuse a ginger?
Throw a cross at them.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
I wank over Rose Watson.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.
My brother truly is a numbskull.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."