Worst Jokes Ever
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What is the capital of Greece? -- About 10 dollars.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.