Worst Jokes Ever
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Lorne Armstrong
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.