Worst Jokes Ever
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
My name is Jeff.
Feminism.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
How do you boil holy water?... You boil the hell out of it!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.