Worst Jokes Ever

Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"

Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."

My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.

If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?

There’s 20 of them.

What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?

Impossible!

How did Princess Diana cross the road?

Through the windshield!

Life is like giving head... it always sucks.

What did Google Translate say to Siri?

"Why are you so Siri-ous?"

What do you call black people in pool?

Coco Pops.

1 + 1 = window.

What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."

Here's a joke... you.

I went to a seafood shop.

I pulled a muscle.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”

Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!