What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
