Worst Jokes Ever

There is no joke.

Grandma, I can’t believe I have Alzheimer’s.

One second later, Well at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s.

What's the difference between a humorous bully and a small van driver?

One takes the Mickey, the other takes the Minnie.

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Your mom dot com.

What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?

The cow didn’t make it.

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.

What does the Bible stand for?

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

I like my wine like how I like my women: 10 years old and locked in a basement.

Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.

I can't see the bee.

It's by the beehive.