Worst Jokes Ever
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My life is a joke.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Goats are so lazy these days. Computers have more RAM.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a
Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?
A: Because they are!