Worst Jokes Ever
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
You're gay, lol.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Why do cannibals not like to eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny!
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...