Worst Jokes Ever
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Africa.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
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Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.