Worst Jokes Ever
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!
What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
What do you call a website that openly encourages racist posts?
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"