Worst Jokes Ever
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." *SMACK*! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie. *SMAACK*! She slapped Suzie. "Okay, Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.