Worst Jokes Ever
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?