Worst Jokes Ever

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.

Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.

Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.

If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

Why did the chickens cross the road?

To get to KFC.