Worst Jokes Ever

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.

(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

You wanna see a joke? Look in a mirror.

You're so ugly!

I for the class?

What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?

When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.

Pictures of the people commenting.

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

What animal is best at hitting baseballs?

A bat.

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.

Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.

Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.

Why don’t you have a pet cheetah?

There cheetah you.