Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
'Cause there was a crack!
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
"Jonny, Jonny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa."
"Open your mouth!" Shoves hand down throat-
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.