I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.
Worst Jokes Ever
Aren't I beary good?
Knock knock. Who is there? Poo. Poo who? Hey, I need ta go poooooooooooop!
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Cooper is the best to ever live.
Cooper is funny.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
New.
Spppppp.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Yo mama soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 hour later ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Mom: There is so much of the dog's dirty ball marks.
Me: *umm ohh no* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA dirty balls!
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."