Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says "moo moo."
Teacher: Good!
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."
Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.
What type of music is a balloon afraid of? Pop.
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and feel better.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
Doin (DYM 5).
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?
Gwen, I know you're the Peter Griffin guy who spams and puts the N word and spams other stuff.
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.