Worst Jokes Ever
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise egg.
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Let’s make this the most liked and commented [post].
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."