Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
Stephen Hawking died.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Can I die?
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
pornhub.com
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."