Worst Jokes Ever

What is brown and sticky?

What is white and gooey?

What is long and hard?

(Tell me in the comments)

Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?

"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"

What is black and white and red all over?

An interracial abortion.

What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.

Who thinks Kenya's dancing is bad and wrong and no?

Who thinks Kenya's dancing is bad and wrong? NO!!!!!!

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

Who disliked the rooster joke, come out now!

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

What Did Iran Say To Oman?

"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.

Nononono.

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

Funny things or weird things to say to someone.

Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.

It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!

Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.

Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins.

Lumpy.

Nilly.

Ninty Minty.

and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!