Worst Jokes Ever
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
I am Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are HeHee.
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.