Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Michael Jackson rush to H&M?

They had new Billie Jeans!

A vampire goes to the bakery.

Vampire: "One bun, please."

Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"

Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."

Who are the fastest readers?

911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

I: "Get a boomerang."

Type: "Why?"

Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.

This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.

What's a child abuser's favorite song?

"Just Beat It!"

Which word is also called for women's prison?

"Pridaughter."

What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?

Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?

Brigham Young and Boise State.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.