Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
How do mountains see? They peek.
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.