"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
Keira likes massive, juicy, insanely big cock!
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!
Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.