Worst Jokes Ever

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

You know, 9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just PLANE wrong!

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan has all their teeth intact.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Why did the cheetah get sad?

'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.

Why can't America play chess?

They're already missing 2 towers.