Worst Jokes Ever
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe!!!
Just send me to hell already.
Why were ET's eyes so big?
Because he saw the phone bill.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
"Sike, I lied, your dick is dry."
How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What instrument do orphans play?
The sax alone.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Why would an orphan kill his family? Because they weren't there.