Worst Jokes Ever
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
TommyInnit is a joke.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
What is this website?