Worst Jokes Ever
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
What’s Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
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A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What do you call a bald Mexican?
A huevo.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
Hiiiiiiiii, I said, Man, want candy? Me, YESSSSSS! Me, gets kidnaped.
Don't say "stay positive" to the wrong doctor.
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
(Just a joke, no offense.)
Q: What is the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
A: One is a good year, one is a great year.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.