"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Worst Jokes Ever
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
U die from robot bite.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
Why is this a category?
I’m back, bitches!
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
Hey freshfry, are you on? Because I'm ready to play on the Xbox.
Bitch!
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?