Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
The "F" in "Orphan" stands for "Famulu."
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Someone dies.