Worst Jokes Ever
Tis the season to be spooky.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
What do you call a door hinge? A door hinge!
I was bullying an orphan, then I said, "What, you gonna run home and cry to your mom?"
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
What does CNN stand for? The Counterfeit News Network.
Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."