What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
Worst Jokes Ever
Guy: Do you want a nickel?
Girl: Sure.
Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?
Girl: 😳😩😩😩
What do you call your mom? Gay.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
STOP THE FRICKING ORPHAN JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THEM NOW! STOP THEM NOW NOW NOW N.O.W.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
Little Johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "Give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back!"
To which the robber says "FUCK YOU! I don't wanna."
Little Johnny calls the police and says "A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse."
The police said "How old are you?"
Little Johnny then hangs up the phone.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy".
