So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
Worst Jokes Ever
Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Why can't orphans say "mommy: me?" Because the fosters said no.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
Hey guys! Wanna hear a joke?
-You guys- sure
Ok! -insert every game with a copy and paste/slender in the thumbnail-
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.
What's an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
I am thinking of removing my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
