Worst Jokes Ever
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."
The only joke here is the topic.
Roses are white, violets are white, everything is white. I’m racist.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.