Worst Jokes Ever
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
I’m a short joke.
I’m only five feet tall 😞
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.
Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.
It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Yes yes yes here it is!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her.
When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth.
She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive, and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me... twice; that is if you are not too tired."
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
Why do orphans always ask Alexa to order milk?
Because their dad never brought it home.