Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

"Knock, knock!""Who's there?""Abby."

"Abby who?""Your Mexican girlfriend."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

Alternative punchline:

"I had to call social services, she was only 14."

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."