I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
Worst Jokes Ever
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
Hiiiiiiiihihihi.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
I asked what was her favorite type of magic. She said, "the one you make."
Me: Gay puns are the best!
Also me: But I'm straight though.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!
Yo mama so fat that Thanos had to snap twice!
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Orphans are cool.
Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?
Because of Hispanic attacks.
