Worst Jokes Ever

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

What candy loves shooting stars? Starbursts!

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To buy a house.

Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?

What games do orphans hate?

Bingo.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.

Some people could say that the sky was falling that day,

one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven.

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

What turns green, purple, and white? A chameleon.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰

What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?

Pelvis Presley.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.