I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Worst Jokes Ever
Me and the boys are cool.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Why do orphans love foster homes?
Because they actually have a home.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"
