Worst Jokes Ever
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Curry must hurry.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Me and 1/2 of my friends.
Spell "I cup."
I see you pee.
Why do orphans hate the internet?
Because on the internet, people have families.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.
Why did the toilet paper get to the bottom of the hill?
Because he went down the drain! - it's a bad joke, lmao.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.