There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
Worst Jokes Ever
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
Why canβt an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call βdaddy.β
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. π
If you know it, you know it.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
Whatβs the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
"Hey babe!"
Googoogaga.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. ππππππ
Penaldo song π΅π΅π΅
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
