Worst Jokes Ever
My favorite sex position is the “JFK,” I splatter all over her as she screams to get out of the car 😂
Stephen Hawking walks, I mean rolls into a bar.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
What does Stephen Hawking and a prostitute have in common?
They both charge.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
Dick in my mouth.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.