Worst Jokes Ever

I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

Why is he ourple?

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

Want to have sex?

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

Why can't orphans play football?

Because they can't be on the home team.

How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink? Double Manhattan.

Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.

You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Why can't an orphan have an iPad?

They can't find the home button.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."